Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Houston, we have a blender
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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