You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
