Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
