y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
