Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Rumble strips road head = magical
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
