lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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