have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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