get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The adults are the big ones right?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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