Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
