pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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