I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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