Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Randomize
