umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
