Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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