it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
