Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
