am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Holy sore nipples Batman
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
