You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
