You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Randomize
