I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
