There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
