If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
