I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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