That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
