Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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