he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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