i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
