You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
