I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
