Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
