last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
