my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
home. puking in laundry basket.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize