i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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