I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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