I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
