I feel like abortions should bother me more
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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