I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
