Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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