I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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