In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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