omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
