Banned from zoo.
Again?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
