just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
