its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
