Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
