He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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