don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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