I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
