Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
