i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
